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It's groundhog day from the 1990s, except now it's 2013. [02 Feb 2013|02:26pm]
Well, y'all, after years of absence, I have decided to pick back up the ol' livejournal. It's like a favorite instrument, a cozy old chair, a place where the emotional me can write brisk abrupt things and be kind of anonymous. I like writing and knowing that it is posted publicly, and I like knowing that because of where it is posted, it likely will not be read by anyone. I'm blogging into semi-dead space. It's oddly sexy.

I'd like to start my second love affair with livejournal off right. Last night, I dreamt that I was kidnapped by a girl with a helicopter who kept trying to feed me to crocodiles. I spent the entire night running from huge dark green and brown crocodiles. I felt like they had some sympathy for me but I am not sure why. I was left with a mental impression of one crocodile thrashing over onto its side, exposing its white crocodile belly, and vanishing into a giant mud puddle. I could have died. Fortunately, I made it.

Human sexuality is some confusing, fucked up shit that we all indulge in.

I know what my ideal life for myself is. It took me years to figure that out. So many years. But I've finally got a handle on myself, and feel not only incredibly confident and comfortable in my skin, but also oddly depressed and scared. Becoming comfortable in your own skin requires acknowledging that in the past you lived in some shitty skin and were crazy. And then you weren't crazy because you let others help you. Thank you, anonymous. You know I love you, babe. Now? Refocus.

I'm going to be a doctor. Really. I am going to study, learn lots of formulas, score big on the MCAT, and then apply to med school. And then go there. I might even go to UAMS. It's actually a good school, although I will give myself the next year to decide. I finally have the confidence to follow a career path that I've honestly wanted for a while, but I had convinced myself that I was too stupid. Oh, no, I've got the brain for it. Now comes the work really hard for the goal part. I've already been accepted to the Johns Hopkins post bacc pre-med program, which is a step in the right direction. It's a year long program that prepares career changers for medical school. I will be spending the next week completing financial aid forms and reading about housing on...umm...craigslist, because I am not sure at this point if I can afford to look anywhere else, but hey. I also will be spending my time finishing up grant reports for the Peace Corps.

Speaking of which, I'm almost done. Last time I updated in 2010, I was en route to Kyrgyzstan. I went there. I was evacuated after a bloody revolution and an ethnic cleansing. I ended up in Senegal instead. I am coming back to the states in March, after two crazy years of the craziest things I have ever experienced in my life. I will come back radically altered, and I know everyone says it's easy to get back into the routine of things back in America, I am not so sure it will be. These three years have been a rollercoaster and my life has been turned on it's head, shaken up, and sat back down in a different spot. Crooked. A clear spot exists in the dust where I used to stand.

Clear spot.
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[06 Mar 2010|11:04pm]
My future home and workplace! Crazy.
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[24 Feb 2010|04:26pm]
The Glenn Miller Orchestra, The Nicholas Brothers, and Dorthy Dandridge do the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Can you afford to board the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
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[14 Feb 2010|12:42am]
The problem with blogs? Too much "ich."
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[30 Jan 2010|12:34pm]
Today is my 1 year wedding anniversary. I feel great!
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[24 Jan 2010|12:09am]
Man, ya'll, American politics has me so riled up I'm on the verge of getting back into slam poetry. I feel so angry it's like I'm 17 again. Time to grow my hair out, pick my nose in public, and spout the word. If I were a religious woman, I'd be praying so hard and so loud you'd think you were in a church full of Billie Holidays, Odettas, and Rosetta Thorpes.
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[07 Jan 2010|01:26am]
Well, folks, recently I've been opening my blog entries like I am a crappy 50s comedian. Why do you ask? Because heck, sometimes my life's a joke. But hell, who's life isn't? Anyway, I'm back in LR and have been spending my time doing all sorts of things, ranging from cooking to trying to get ahold of former friends that have fallen recently into the long-lost category. Some of them are still in that long-lost category. Get out of it, folks! I've started a new job and and got sent home from an old one. I've learned how to kill a turkey and milk a goat. Welp, that'll do it for tonight. Hello, LJ world.
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[20 Oct 2009|08:45am]
I've moved to almost exclusively updating my work blog, which isn't all that cool, but I would like to update here to invite everyone I know to come to Rutland, Massachusetts for a visit. Seriously. It's gorgeous up here. The leaves are amazing shades of auburn, yellow, and vivid bright red. The animals are happy and generally people-loving. We have a fireplace in our home and we've already had two snows. C'mon down or up, folks!!!
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[28 Aug 2009|02:39pm]
Hey ya'll! I have been up at Overlook farm for the past few days working, and am trying to keep up a work blog. It features pictures of the many creatures I am finding here at the farm as well as some of the housing, gardens, etc. As I find cute/cool/weird things to take pictures of on the farm, I will put them up there and write about them. If you're interested in checking it out, feel free. It is at ivyren.blogspot.com
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[01 Aug 2009|12:04am]
Life is trippy and random, and sends you places that you don't expect.
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Things that suck! [02 Jul 2009|12:00pm]
Nic got medically deferred, so Nic and I will not be leaving for the Peace Corps until late September! This is so lame!!!!!!
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[08 Jun 2009|09:11am]
Nic and I got our letters and we will be leaving for a 27 month stint with the Peace Corps in Benin, Africa in July!!!!!!!!
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[01 Jun 2009|11:42pm]
Shop the Neverland Auction catalog online! Michael Jackson just a few years ago defaulted on a loan and it was thought that he would be forced to auction off parts of his Neverland Ranch estate; however, his loan was bought up, but it was not until after the public auction had been set up. And man, there was some weird stuff in Neverland Ranch, like paintings of Michael Jackson leading hordes of small children into a pasture, Michael Jackson as a king, Michael Jackson surrounded with Disney characters, Michael Jackson as Peter-pan type figures... Paintings he and Macaulay Culkin did together. Entertaining. Private. Bizarre.
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[21 Apr 2009|11:51am]
School is almost over, but it's killin' me. Daaaamn! I think my entire back is one block of knots.
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[09 Apr 2009|01:52am]
While I love academia, and find that the most interesting people tend to be ones that are inclined towards reading, writing, and studying (or any alternative means of education), studying is so hard on the body. I've been typing most of the day, and reading most of the night, and will keep on typing till the wee hours of the morning... immoble, with the exception of finger movements, feeling my body growing antsier as I force it to sit still for longer than it is biologically inclined to...Nah, studying excessively is not healthy for the body, though it may be healthy for the mind.

I suppose all things in moderation is a motto I should adopt, but if I adopt studying in moderation this close to graduation I might not graduate. Oh, brain.
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[28 Mar 2009|04:17pm]
gah, this weather! My kitchen is filled with plants that are supposed to be outside, but can't be because of the sudden cold. Curses!
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[25 Mar 2009|01:29pm]
Smoking cigarettes can cure asthma, make you thinner, aide with digestion, and make you live longer, according to cigarette ads from the 40s, 50s, and so on! Also includes: Cigarette ads published in comic form that were targeted at children and published in the funny section. Hours of entertainment!
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[13 Mar 2009|06:14pm]
Today, Little Rock was on the NPR website because someone at a day care center switched kool aid and wiper fluid. Oh, Arkansas, please make better news happen next time. Bitte!
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[27 Feb 2009|11:11am]
The fiber supplement inulin is now added to dairy products such as frozen yogurt, pudding, ice cream, and cheese. Inulin, in the presence of a whole food, causes no negative reactions. Outside of a whole food, as a supplement, it has been known to cause intestinal permeability, yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and increase risk of infections in general. The body is not made to ingest such large quantities of fiber pre-extracted and partially digested from food... no, the body is made to pull fiber out of whole foods like onion, beet, etc.

I do not buy these products expecting a fiber-explosion; nay, I purchase them as occasional junk foods to be eating along side my fairly-decently-balanced diet. Trying to make a junk food "healthy" by adding fiber, protein, vitamins, whatever....Just really makes them hard on the human digestive tract. It doesn't make them healthy. It makes the label look good...and allows the company to put such claims on the package as "Good source of Fiber! Excellent source of calcium! Natural chicory extract!"- but these claims are empty, most of the time.

This disgusts me. I do not believe in junk food- but I do believe in foods that people should only eat occasionally. These foods are ice cream, pudding, potato chips, candies...things that are now being converted to "health foods" by the addition of proteins, enzymes, fibers, etc which may do more harm then good, if the body is even capable of digesting them (most of the time not).

Truth: Enzyme supplements are broken down in the body in such a way that destroys the enzyme. The consumption of an enzyme outside of the context of a whole food results in essentially nothing happening. It works like this: If you eat a food, the body breaks down the food, releases the enzyme trapped in the food. If you eat an enzyme, the body breaks down the enzyme, and releases what it is composed of.

Long story short: Dammit, I want to eat real ice cream, not this artificially sweetened fiber loaded stomach bomb shit. I don't like the fact that real food, like corn and fruit and grain, is being labeled as "health food" (as opposed to just "food") and that junk food is being turned into "heath food" through to addition of fakey weird products/supplements. Nice quote: "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants." I want my "junk" food to at least at some point in time to have been real stuff... I want my ice cream to be real cream, real vanilla...god, I need to live in an idealized world where food processing isn't so damn hip it hurts.
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[27 Jan 2009|07:30pm]
Hell yeah!
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